Dan "Dinky Derry" Baker, the Laugh Minstrel

I ride my bike to work and back home twice a day usually. I really enjoy riding my bike! I love going through red lights and weaving in-between cars, besides the health benefits I just find it exciting! I ride even when it’s -30! Seriously! I wear ski goggles on those mornings. Ha-ha but ya ever since I moved to Toronto I've always used my bike because in most cases I find it faster then TTC. Oh man I FUCKING HATE the TTC! Some people might think I'm crazy for riding my bike in the winter and ya I have wiped out a few times (once I fell off my bike in front of a street car, that was scary)but to be honest I hate stopping, I just want to keep going! There’s nothing worse then when you’re in a rush and you have to use TTC! There's always traffic, someone too lazy to walk a block from the subway station, some old lady that takes years to step up on the bus, the driver decided to stop and get a fuckin coffee, or when you get on a street car (this really pisses me off) and it only goes so far, making you get off and wait for another car. I don’t know I'm just really impatient I guess so I'll stick to my bike and continue running reds and weaving in and out of traffic.

Ok so I want to talk about airport security and just flying in general! If you haven’t been to the airport in some time then trust me your in for a treat as airport security is a fuckin joke!

First off, everyone is a criminal or at least that's how they make you feel when you begin going through security! NOW! I know they are doing it for my safety and blah blah blah but fuck that. They don’t give a shit about your safety!

Secondly, do you ever notice that when there is a terrorist act on a plane, like say for instance that guy that brought a shoe bomb onto the plane! The security changes??? After that they started checking everyone shoes! The most recent act of terrorism is someone that made a bomb out of some liquids they brought on to the plane! So now you’re only allowed to bring a few items on the plane that doesn’t exceed 100 ml?? Actually right when that happened you weren’t allowed to bring on anything that was a liquid, gel, or cream! Because you never know, that lip-gloss could be the next act of terrorism! So what happens next!!! When someone shoves gun powder up their ass and uses it as a bomb while in the bathroom of the plane? Is everyone flying now going to get their anal probed? Where’s the consistency?

Finally, if your going to fly prepare yourself for a boring, shity journy.The food is garbage and always has been (you think by this day and age they could feed you decent food). The movies are always boring and old and if you want to listen to them you have to buy these special headsets! As if the flight didn’t cost enough, now I can’t even listen to the shity movie they are showing. Oh and make sure you only bring on 1 carry on because I was told that my pillow was considered a second item of luggage? WTF?

Flying....it’s not what it use to be.

Well tonight’s the big night for me and my roommates! We all have to sit down and discuss what going to happen with the spare room we have. If you don’t know already this one roommate want me to pay 170 more on my rent to help cover for the missing person or I have to move out! Personally I don’t give a fuck! I'm not moving out and I'm not paying more rent! But we'll see I'm not that pleased with where I lived so depending on how this meeting goes I might just say fuck it, I’m moving out April 1st

Oh and if you want to find out your clown name like mine above then go to http://iam.bmezine.com/clown.exe and type in your first and last name!